Ross: [receiving his Christmas gift] You got me a cola drink.
Chandler: And a LEMON LIME.
Ross: You shouldn't have. I feel like I should get you another sweater.
 
Judy Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He can't see the bride in the wedding dress.
Nora Bing: As I recall, when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Charles Bing: But that was after the wedding. It's not bad luck then.
Nora Bing: Honey, it isn't good luck.
 
Ross: Well, yeah, I think we should get married!
Rachel: What? Because that's your answer to everything?
 
Monica: You don't like the game, because you suck at it.
Chandler: I don't suck at it. It sucks. And you suck.
 
Ross: Oh, really? Well, I guess Monica should know about Atlantic City.
Chandler: Du-ude!
Monica: What happened in Atlantic City?
Ross: Well, Chandler and I are in a bar...
Chandler: Did you not hear me say, "Du-ude"?
Ross: ...and this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after a while he just goes over to her and, uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what you're thinking. Chandler's not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls. And you're right. Chandler's not the type of guy just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Monica: You kissed a guy? Oh my God.
Chandler: In my defense, it was dark and he was a very pretty guy
 
Ross: Can I borrow your blue tie? Emma spit on mine.
Chandler: Okay, but you'll have to give it back when I get a job. Of course, by then, ties will be obsolete and we'll all be wearing silver jumpsuits.
 
Rachel: Can you take care of Emma just for today?
Ross: Sure, just lend me your breasts and we'll be on our way.
 
Joey: I hate Pottery barn too! They kicked me out of there just because I sat on a bed.
Chandler: You took off your pants and climbed under the sheets!
 
Ross: I figured after work, I'd pick up a bottle of wine, go over there, and try to... woo her.
Chandler: Hey, you know what you should do? Take her back to the 1800's when that phrase was last used.
 
Mike Hanigan: You're not gonna try and make me join a cult are you?
Ross: No...
Mike Hanigan: Oh okay. You just have that look.
Ross: [to himself] Damn SuperCuts!
 
[Monica knocks]
Chandler: You can't come in.
Monica: Why not?
Chandler: Because, uh, Ross is naked.
Ross: What?
Chandler: Well, I couldn't tell her *I* was naked. She's allowed to see me naked.
Ross: Why does *anyone* have to be naked?
 
Monica: Oh my god. How cute is the new eye doctor?
Rachel: So cute I'm thinking about jamming this pen in my eye.
 
Chandler: I got her machine.
Joey: Her answering machine?
Chandler: No. Interestingly enough, her leaf blower picked up.
 
[on thanksgiving day]
Chandler: So, when's the big game gonna start?
Phoebe: You don't have to do that, Ross and Joey aren't here, you can watch the parade.
 
[Rachel is upset about something]
Phoebe: Aww Pheebs.
Rachel: Honey, that's your name.
Phoebe: Oh, Pheebs is short for Phoebe I thought that's just what we called each other.
 
Ross: All right, I'll tell you why you're a bad driver. You're fast and irresponsible.
Rachel: Well, excuse me but in high school that made me head cheerleader.
 
Monica: Whose little ball of paper is this?
Chandler: Oh, it's mine. I wrote a note to myself, and then I realized I didn't need, so I balled it up...
[notices Monica's angry glare]
Chandler: And now I wish I was dead.
 

[Ross looking at Monica's legs]
Ross: Wow.
Chandler: Hey stop staring at my wife's legs. No, no, stop staring at your sister's legs
 
Chandler: We're getting a house.
Monica: We're getting a baby.
Chandler: We're growing up.
Monica: We sure are.
Chandler: So who's going to tell them?
Monica: Not it.
Chandler: Not it. Damn it!
 
Janice: It's a small world after all.
Chandler: Yeah. And I still don't get bumped into Beyonce!